Monday, January 14, 2008

ugh, dating again

so how are things on the 'dating' front?

well, there was a brief setback last week when i discovered that, horror of horrors, B- is now in a relationship. my horror and dismay was not from jealousy; there was no regret that things hadn't worked out between us. (though there is much evidence of my inconsistency here.) no, my dismay and shock came from an irrational sense of competition.

"how dare he, the most lonely and dysfunctional of men, have a relationship while i don't! at least i'm working on my issues, dammit." i'm not proud of my pettiness; i just acknowledge that it exists.

anyway, a friend reminded me of my many vows to leave B-'s eeyore-like specter behind and so, finally, i am. (it helps that i'm confident B-'s inherent lack of generosity will doom his relationship in a few months no matter how often he goes jogging.) as i leave the weirdo behind, i look to the future and what do i see?

i see more weirdos.
i'm on a black networking site and, lord help me, it's sort of depressing. it's almost as bad as those christian dating sites i tried years ago. my kingdom for a man who can spell and use punctuation correctly!

and i'm tired of telling black men no, i don't have kids. make of that what you will.

are the men i've met there weird because they their writing skills are a little lacking? no. most of them are weird because they live in the burbs and can't say anything that doesn't sound like a R&B cliche. i'd also give my left nipple for a decent bit of banter.

(there was this one guy who thought he was being funny when he said that he'd buy me dinner, drinks and give me a warm place to stay for folding his laundry. it took everything in me not to get snippy. enough women have been snippy to these guys, it seems but, lord, trying to communicate with these guys is drying up my very small well of patience!)

i'll keep looking, though. there's gotta be a black/brown equivalent to me out there, somewhere. right?


Molly Malone said...

R&B cliches as banter? ick. i'm so sorry. :(
i'm positive you'll find your counterpart. who knows when or how, though? dating sucks.

ding said...

dating sucks hugely. especially at my age. i don't have the patience, anymore. before, i'd overlook a whole bunch of stuff for the sake of 'dating'. now i find myself becoming Split Second Sally.

Greg said...

there's gotta be a black/brown equivalent to me out there, somewhere. right?

Sure, but Leonard Pitts has been married for a long time. Ohhhh, you mean an available guy....

Seriously - doesn't your blog attract such people? I've been reading your blog for a couple of years, and I would have definitely hit on you at some point if I wasn't already married. Or do guys that find you through your blog turn out to be weird too?

ding said...

aw, you're nice.
oh, the weirdness knows no bounds, greg. from MRA dudes who want to teach me a lesson (dating should not be a learning moment) to random christian dudes who want to show me how to be more biblical (yeah, heard that one before).

but i will persevere!

at least dating again will give me funny stories.

greg said...

Well, I don't know if dating shouldn't be a learning moment, but it sure shouldn't be a teaching (as in let me show you how to be a better person) moment. You've got a great sense of humor; here's hoping that you don't have to use it too much now that you're dating again. I'll be rooting for you (but I'll also be enjoying those funny stories....)

ding said...

heh, yes. 'teaching' not 'learning.'

well, i'm always willing to give up the funny. dating is ideal for stories of the absurd, weird or ridiculous. (have i told the one about the guy who ran away from me? he literally backed away and ran to the train. that was a first.)

i'd love to hear anyone's funny/horrendous/bizarre dating stories.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ding said...

was that spam?

Anonymous said...

Keep hope alive, NOT SPAM!

Anonymous said...

"...sites i tried years ago. my kingdom for a man who can spell and use
punctuation correctly!"


"...sites I tried years ago. My kingdom for a man who can
spell and use punctuation correctly!"

These men exist, but they are apparently not in your league.

ding said...

har de har har.

keeping things in lower case is a graphic/stylistic choice i've made, dude.