Friday, March 16, 2007

in the stirrups

so a couple weeks ago i went to the doctor for my bi-annual pelvic. (although i know better, i don't go to the doctor unless something is hanging out of me, bleeding.)

anyway, there i am, in the stirrups, being palpated by my doctor and missing the old cloth robes we used to wear during these kind of examinations.

then she goes, 'Hm.'
i think, Hm is never good.
i say, 'what's wrong?'
she says, 'did you know you have fibroids?'
'uh, no.'
'well, you do. do you know what they are?' palpate. palpate.
i say, 'big tumor-y things?'
she laughs while continuing to palpate. 'yes, big tumor-y things.' she snaps off the gloves and gets ready to do the pap.
'you got 'em. i'm going to recommend you get an ultrasound just so we see how big they are.'

i just nod and i can't help but think, wow, i no longer have to justify being childless. i have fibroids! huzzah!*

god works in mysterious ways, doesn't He?

*for folks out there who may be befuddled at my logic re: infertility: fibroids keep growing back so i'd either have to get them lasered out all the time, take constant medication all the time, or get a hysterectomy. it's an inevitability. goodbye uterus.*


myste said...

lucky. i wish i could get fibroids so i could have and excuse to just take her out and not deal with her monthly for the next 25 years.

ding said...

though my friends have all made the 'ohh, are you ok?' sounds, i have to admit to them that having fibroids is really a lucky thing for me. one way or another it means my natural reproductive system is wonky and gives me a biological reason for avoiding getting pregnant completely. i don't care if i'm anemic - i'm barren! whoo hoo!